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I wanted you to be different..
Because I wanted you..
So I tested you..
I know it wasn’t fair..
But I needed it..
And when you failed, I got mad..
I lashed out as my nails tore into that stubble on your neck..
I just wanted you to deny me..
So that I could have you..
I am the professional liar
Lies… my only friends
They keep me warm and satisfied, in the lonely night
Because I can create a false but perfect world…. for me.
Nobody understand why.. but I don’t either.
It hurts too much to come clean.
So instead I make up another lie….
I got obsessed with her..
Right down to my bones..
Oceans apart, soul mates..
She’s the only one I think of..
Dark eyes, red lips, wild – hair..
She is my crazy girl, in every way..
~ ~ ~ ~
I got obsessed with him..
His thick accent, piano playing..
Lands away, I started to doubt..
How could he love me from so afar..
Only his beautiful French words, to soothe my soul..
I believed in him, I still do..
~ ~ ~ ~
He promised to love me forever….
But we don’t know the real truths about each other….
Everything is perfect here . .
But I couldn’t create here . .
Somewhere over there . .
That is where I had to be . .
In the middle of chaos . .
I could write your fucking noose . .
So tight around your neck . .
Fit snug, your own death making you feel so safe . .
So sad you believe in fate . .
You don’t just die . .
You create this death . .
Your final masterpiece . .
Do you think of me?
While she is wrapped inside your intoxicating embrace.
Does she know?
Know that I was the only one, you ever really loved.
It’s a cut so deep.
You gave her the wedding, promised to me.
Wound Festering, rapidly.
She sits in my place, beside your bench side throne.
I gave you me.
In return you left , claimed I had betrayed thee.
How can you?
Tracing her perfectly smooth, warm flesh.
She is marked yours.
Your fingers never to caress me again.
Top hat, hands placed so relaxed – in your pockets
I remember when they would roam – under my yellow sundress
Now.. I just sit in the faded green chair
Your out on the streets, driving that cab, without a care.
You planned on breaking me
With that electric skin and scratchy jaw
I said I would never be bound again
So I built these flimsy ropes and wrapped them diligently
That you could see, you might pull them of so easily